Personalizing Affirmations

The Earth is your Grandmother and Mother, and She is sacred. Every step that is taken upon Her should be as a prayer.

Black Elk in

The Sacred Pipe (1971)

I have seen the use of affirmations and affirmative prayer among the temazcaleros. "Affirmations," wrote Dr. Kathryn J. Lively (2014), Associate Professor of Sociology at Dartmouth College and co-author of Selves, Symbols, and Social Reality, "are simply statements that are designed to create self-change in the individual using them." 

Both inside and outside the temazcal affirmations can help us, as caminantes (those who walk the path, or Red Road) focus attention in our lives and promote behaviors we value. Oso (Bear) Mario, my brother in the temazcal of the Circulo de los Osos (Circle of the Bears), in Durango, Mexico, suggested to me the use of affirmative prayer and practicing gratefulness when we talked about coping during a period of anguish.

Although I frequently look to literature for affirmations, the most effective ones, I have noted, come from within. Dr. Lively (2014) noted,

Many sources stress the importance of writing your own affirmations — ones that speak to your deepest desires and using specific words or phrases that resonate with you personally.

Effective Affirmations

My duality, Gatuña (Acacia) Bere and I, recently, began listing to affirmations in the evening just before going to sleep. I found a number of recordings on YouTube, and my wife particularly liked one posted by Cristina Ingrid B, entitled, "Affirmations to Sleep, Relax, and Feel Positive ("Afirmaciones para Dormir, Relajarse, y Sentir Positivo"). The recording basically covered Louise Hay's "Power Thoughts" affirmations, including these:

• "I am at peace with my age."
• "I can release the past and forgive everyone."
• "I am open and receptive to new avenues of income." 
• "I now receive my good from expected and unexpected sources."
• "I am an unlimited being, accepting from an unlimited source, in an unlimited way."

Aside from those of Louise Hay's affirmations, I've used some of those of Tony Robbins, Stephen R. Covey, Black Elk, Buddha, Henry David Thoreau, Charles Eastman, Zitkala-Sa, and others. Although I like to read inspiring literature and draw affirmations from different authors, I often modify quotes to make more effective affirmations, or simply write my own.

Charles Eastman, Zicala-Sa, and Black Elk.
Source: Wikimedia.

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Personalizing Affirmations

As I mentioned, I often modify quotes to make my own personalized affirmations. Look, for example, at Louis Hay's affirmation, "I am beautiful, and everybody loves me." I can work comfortably with the "I am beautiful" part because I see beauty in everything, including things I do not like. To see the beauty I only have to pay attention.

However, the phrase, "everybody loves me," does not fit well into my own personal set of effective affirmations because I do not believe it to be true. I understand that I could probably trick myself into yielding to it, repeating it over and over again until it becomes ingrained in my thoughts, to achieve some goal. Old-school rote memorization of prayers that we did in catechism, when I was a child, though, did not convince me that this technique yields effective long-term results.

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Some might argue that I should include the affirmation, "Everybody loves me," in my own practice and that I do not believe it because I refuse to accept and practice it. However, I feel that negating the evidence and forcing myself to believe something contrary results in irresponsible decision-making.

Even so, I see opportunity in the modification of this statement. I might, for example, use as an affirmation, "All my brothers and sisters have the genetic programming to love and could, given the correct circumstances, love me." That statement feels much more convincing than, "Everybody loves me," but, even so, it does not provide me with the leverage to guarantee a specific desired outcome.

An even more convincing statement, "Everyone provides me opportunities to practice loving kindness," gives me more control over the probable outcome by focusing on changing myself and not changing my brother or sister or the circumstances to which he or she experiences. I must, though, accept that I could meet with failed efforts. Instead, I would rather focus on an affirmation that simply reminds me that we are all related.

I decide that I will stick with these:

• "I am beautiful!" and
• "All things are my family."

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Composing Your Own Affirmations

If you take the time to think about it, you can probably put together, on your own, all the affirmations that you would ever need. Dr. Lively suggests a four-point formula for writing effective affirmations:

1. Write affirmations in the first person. 

Saying, "I associate with people who help me attain my goals," rather than "The people around me help me attain my goals," adds identity to you, as the controlling element in the situation, rather than leaving it to chance that supportive people will find you. It provides you with control over the variables and probable outcome.

2.  Write affirmations in the positive. 

“I am completely free from cigarettes,” says Lively, makes a better affirmation that the statement, “I no longer enjoy the taste of cigarettes.” 

3. Emotionally charge affirmations.

She suggests, "instead of 'I only eat healthy food,' which sounds suspiciously chore-like, try: 'I feel vibrant and alive when I make healthy choices for me.'"  Appealing to our emotions brings our emotional energy, ... a powerful driving force ..., into the game.

4. Write affirmations in the present state. 

By using affirmations in the present state, like "I walk to work every day," rather than "I will walk to work every day," we write them as if they are already happening. Lively explained,

This is the step that causes most people to falter, because in some cases they feel silly writing or saying something that they actually don’t yet believe — at least at a conscious level — is true. But remember, the purpose behind affirmations is to rewrite your subconscious mind.

Many holistic traditions suggest that if you act as if something is true, if you experience the feelings associated with the outcome that you want, the more likely it is for the outcome to materialize. That is, if you believe that you are attractive and sexy, you will automatically engage in the behaviors associated with that (heightened self care), which will help you to attain your goals.

Source: Pixabay.

A Few of My Affirmations

Working with myself in the temazcal, during the vision quest, for the Circulo de los Osos, and outside the temazcal, I composed many of my own affirmations. Here are a few ...

• I, like the turtle, have everything I need in my immediate environment.
• I can always hear the answer to my question if I stop to listen.
• Because I am part of the entire universe, I always walk among brothers and sisters.
• By listening to others, I remember that they are my brothers and sisters. 
• I discern readily, like the coyote, between the things that might harm me and those that might benefit me.
• I am strong, like the buffalo, and defend my values even when surrounded by wolves.
• I have the patience of a bear and enjoy this attribute with all who cross my path.
• I fly above myself, like the eagle and see myself as I really am.
• I communicate effectively, supportively, and lovingly with my daughters.
• I focus on and calm my breath, and in my breath I find strength.

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Your Affirmations

What affirmations do you use inside or outside the temazcal? We would like to hear from you via a comment, below.

... con todas mis relaciones! Aho!

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References Cited

• Black, E., and J. E. Brown. 1971. The Sacred Pipe: Black Elk's Account of the Seven Rites of the Oglala Sioux. Baltimore, MD: Penguin Books.

• Lively, K. J. 2014. Affirmations: The Why, What, How, and What If? Practical tips for writing, using, and remembering self-affirmations. Psychology Today blog (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/smart-relationships/201403/affirmations-the-why-what-how-and-what-if), Reviewed 23 March 2017.