The Circle Inside: Coping Tools

I wore this pendant, a gift from
El Oso, which reminded me of
the red road on which he led me.

While today I mostly write of the temazcal from memory, at one time I lived it, attending twice a week and giving my time and effort in service as often as my work and energy allowed. I had become accustomed to the Circulo de los Osos (the Bears' Circle) and its caminantes as my family. Although I spent only a few years with them, those years coincided with important new apertures in my mind and material world experiences.

A professional change in my life provided motive to move away from that group. Although I made the move willingly and thoughtfully, I found myself in my new world with little external emotional or spiritual support.

The Coping Tools I Used

Not long ago, when I rejoined my hermano, or brother, from the Circulo de los Osos, Oso Hector, he asked me to share with the others of his temazcal ceremony the answer to the question, "How did I endure my move away from the temazcal?" There, I explained how I coped with the transition. Here, I've added some details about my coping tools:

New Eyes

On 11 August of 2011, under the waxing moon, I left the City of Durango, Mexico, leaving behind a permanent, secure job, a few possessions, my family, and professional and personal relationships. I crossed the border with $100 and a duffel bag. Seeing with new eyes, I traveled.

Peace of Mind

Leaving everything was not a new situation for me. I had drifted from place to place most of my life, rarely staying anywhere or holding on to anything or anyone for more than two or three revolutions around the sun. The only exception to that had been the the 15 years that I lived in Durango. I walked across the border, living the present, and little concerned about the future's big picture.

Trained by Los Osos, in their Circle, I traveled and settled in, knowing that I would find everything I needed: shelter, food, transportation, and the tools of my profession. Decades of field experience; the temazcal; my recent "Vision," or Vision Quest; and recent travel with other caminantes to the Congreso Internacional de Espiritualidad Indígena, Milpa Alta, Mexico, Mexico had prepared me mentally and physically.

The "Power of Now" 

Years of mindfulness practice and the words of Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now, were fresh in my mind. I practiced the "Power of Now." I understood, as insight meditation instructor and psychotherapist, Jack Kornfield, wrote in The Buddha’s Little Instruction Book, that, “Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.”

"... a little help from my friends" 

When I was a child, I heard the words from a record going around and around in the house of my Aunt Sally. Maybe Billy Shears and, surely, the Beatles sang, "...I get by with a little help from my friends."

At the El Paso bus station, an old friend from graduate school, Vicente, or Vince and his wife, Elena, picked me up and drove me north, to a small town...Alamogordo...on the western slopes of the Sacramento Mountains of New Mexico. There, I'd live for a time, in a borrowed home, drive a borrowed vehicle, and work a borrowed job.

Vince and his family treated me as a welcome brother, and they, Mary, Lourdes, Ray, Billy, Jennifer, Michelle, Trish, Cathy, Bryan, Jim, Jan, Mike, Hung, Pete, Denise, Stan, Donna, Jim, Kim, Wayne, and many others all played important roles in walking beside me as I re-adapted to the U.S. and found my niche in the local professional community. My daughters communicated when time allowed. My dualidad and wife, Berenice, joined me a year and a half later, as soon as the U.S. issued her visa and allowed us to live again like a married couple.

Rituals

Oso Mario taught me the power of the ritual through his teachings of the medicine wheel, and I learned more of it through literature and practice. I made it a common practice to start my work days with a hike, a medicine wheel, prayer, and meditation. Hung encouraged me to pray regularly and still does so to date.

Much of my ritual I celebrated through song ... one of the most satisfying forms of prayer for me:

Earth My Body

Sing four (or a multiple of four) times:

Earth my body;

Water my blood;

Air my breath; and

Fire is my spirit!

I also practices regular hiking, walking, and yoga. I carried the circle within, and I practiced rituals. "Rituals are the formulas by which harmony is restored," said conservationist and ethicist, Terry Tempest Williams.

Thanksgiving

As part of ritual, I practiced thanksgiving often. I gave thanks, usually silently, for every step forward. I would give thanks for the warmth of the sun or the cold snow. I gave thanks for those who treated me kindly, as well as for the lessons from those who seemed to scorn me.

Loving Kindness

I practiced loving kindness and studied the concept. I practiced, often, loving kindness meditation. It was sometimes a difficult tool to grasp, but has been an effective one.

My Senses

Each walk or resting moment provided my senses with abundance, if I only paid attention. I practiced mindfulness, paying attention to the endless messages and answers that nature provided me.

The Elements and Nature

The four elements ... earth, wind, water, and fire ... make up nature, sensu lato. I've always found comfort in nature, and I frequented the trails and undeveloped areas of my community. 

Physical Items

I list these last because they are, of all the tools, the least essential. I did usually have a paliacate, or bandanna, ... something we always used in the temazcal. It's like the old Boy Scout (yes, boys and girls were considered separate, unique entities when I was a kid) neckerchief: 1001 uses. It was also a good reminder of my temazcal days and its red color boosted my spirits somehow. I also kept a stone pendant, a gift from El Oso, around my neck every day.

The materials, otherwise, included whatever caught my eye during a particular moment: dove feathers, stones, sticks, leaves, flowers, fruits, sand, or almost anything natural that inspired me to stop and look at it and carry it to a spot where I would conduct the medicine wheel ritual that El Oso had taught me. I'd keep an item or so, if they intrigued me or provoked a strong emotion.  

These were my coping tools. Perhaps you can think of other coping tools that you use to adapt to change, separation, or isolation from that which you've become accustomed. I'd love to hear about them.

...con todas mis relaciones!